Land Shark

Friday, I did 2 maintenance appointments. Mamogram and gynecologist. There's something funny about the word mamogram. I always hear it in my head like the skit from Saturday Night Live with the land-shark, waiting outside the door saying "candygram" in that odd voice. There are 3 facilities open to me, Lake Forest, Gurnee and Grayslake. This year, I gave Grayslake a try, having heard from my friends that this was the superior facility in that they did not rip the breast from your chest in the process of flattening it into a temporary pancake. It is a newer facility and because of this, quite nice. I was greeted by a lady who is some kind of receptionist type. She took me to the little changing room and gave me instructions. I was given a very lovely rose pink shirt-gown that crossed over and tied on the side. She explained that the bathrooms were lovely and cleaned hourly. Then she said something I thought was quite odd. She said that no men used the washrooms. And if one dared to he was chased right out the back doors and on to the prairie. Clearly, she is from Grayslake. There's a field behind the building. Just a field, it's not a prairie. (visualize rolling eyes here) And aside from the fact that it was as pleasant a mamogram as I have ever had, the technician was professional and as gentle as possible under the circumstances, I continue to be bothered by that remark. As a person who is well known for the question "what is it with men anyway ?", it may seem a bit strange to hear me standing up for the gender, but really, several of my favorite people are men. In fact, on the whole, I am fortunate to know a large number of really decent men. I would not mind any of them using that bathroom. I would even extend bathroom privileges to some of the less well-liked men of my acquaintance, should they have need of them. More to the point, I am quite certain, I am not the first person that woman has said this to. If she is like most people who have to say the same thing over and over, she has a patter that she says to everyone. Here's the room, here's the locker, here's the gown, here's the bathroom, blah blah man-joke, hah, hah, sit here, wait. Tell everyone the same thing and you don't forget anything important. Nasty men can't use our pretty pink bathroom. And we wonder why we have trouble getting men to take us seriously.